10: Respectful Disengagement

There are some people you find annoying, stressful and anger inducing. Some people find you annoying, stressful and anger inducing. How could you be making anyone angry? Don’t worry, I worked it out and will explain later.

Each of us want fair treatment, to be ourselves and wish others would change to suit our values. We are all aware of those little character flaws in each other yet oblivious to so­­­­­­me of our own. You have an idea of what they could be but you think others should totally accept you anyway. When you act out, the motivation behind it makes sense to you. You can identify the reasons why you’re sensitive to this behaviour and that. You look back and remember looking up to the person who’s reaction you have adopted. You roll your eyes like they would have. Their reaction is alive through you. You both feel an irrational level of irritation to spruikers in the middle of shopping centre pathways.

“Forgive them, for they know not what they do.” But we know what they’re doing and it’s annoying. Just understanding the tendency isn’t enough, unless you’re a Zen master. What the goal again? To make peace with the people we 'can't stand'.

If not peace between you and them, then between you and you with them.